


He Helps Me See I Am Worth Something

by Jade_Chu



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Internal Monologue, Light Angst, M/M, Someone burn me in a dumpster or something, how do i tags, i am literal trash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-17 02:36:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10584639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jade_Chu/pseuds/Jade_Chu
Summary: All my life, I've had a presence with me.It’s not a physical being. It can’t touch me or harm me physically, but it whispers to me. When I was young, it would always be a quiet voice talking to me.‘They don’t like you. They’re laughing at you. You’ll mess everything up and they’ll never even want to look at you.’I learned that its name was Anxiety.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work within the fandom so sorry if they seem OOC  
> Yuri!!! On Ice has literally ruined me  
> Hope you enjoy!!

All my life, I've had a presence with me.

It’s not a physical being. It can’t touch me or harm me physically, but it whispers to me. When I was young, it would always be a quiet voice talking to me.

‘They don’t like you. They’re laughing at you. You’ll mess everything up and they’ll never even want to look at you.’

I learned that its name was Anxiety.

As a kid, I tried not to listen to it. I was stubborn and tried to hold my own.

But it got harder as I got older.

It would tell me how much I would mess up. It would tell me how I was never good enough, how I would never be good enough.

Soon enough, I began to believe it. 

I didn’t want to, but it would just keep talking and keep whispering and I couldn't get it to be quiet. I tried not to listen to it, but it became harder to breathe and tears would always come. I tried to block it out, but it took over every fiber of my being, every waking thought until I believed it or it decided to go away.

Even then it still wouldn’t stop.

It would keep tormenting me, reminding me.

You’re never good enough.

When pressure builds and builds and there's no way for it to escape. It stays bottled up and it wants to burst, but it can’t figure out how.

I also learned that it came with a friend.

It would tell me how worthless I am, how I would amount to nothing. It would speak of how no one loved me, how no one cared. It would shout about how useless I was, how I would be better off gone.

Its name was Depression.

I knew I was a failure at everything that I did. I knew I was made up of faults.

I was used to my own failures, I’ve grown used to them, but I would never ask for my failures to reflect on anyone but myself.

I built walls around myself so no one would be able to get close enough to take the blame. My failures wouldn't taint anyone else because I wasn’t good enough. Because I wasn’t worthy.

But then he came.

Unlike the other two, he was real. 

But he was a god and I was a mere peasant. He was gold and riches and I was worthless dirt. At least that’s how it seemed.

He came into my life like a storm and he wasn’t like how I expected. 

He was human in every way, shape, and form. From the way he talks, to the way he acts, he was normal just like the rest of us.

He slowly started breaking down my walls that I built. He dug his way into my heart, and I let him.

Every time Anxiety and Depression would stick their ugly heads into my life, he would be there to counter what they said. While he wasn’t the best and he didn’t know what to do, he learned.

‘You’re horrible at everything.’ they would say.

‘You’re amazing.’ he would counter.

‘You’re ugly. You’re plain. You’re nothing.’ they would sneer.

‘You’re beautiful and wonderful, and everything I would ever ask for.’ he spoke.

‘No one needs you,’ would be fought with, ‘You gave me the life and love I’ve neglected my whole life.’

‘Everyone hates yo-’

“I love you. I love every little thing about you. You’re perfect no matter what. They can say whatever they want, but they know nothing. You are everything to me and I couldn’t ask for anyone more wonderful to have in my life.” he said, looking into my eyes. His voice filled with so much conviction and truth. His eyes hiding no lies, no false witness. His face full of sincerity and love.

His name is Viktor.

He was real.

He could touch me, he could hold me, be there when I cry. He would support me and uplift. He is there when I'm down to raise me from my own despair. He is there to quell my thoughts and bring me back to the surface.

He helps and so did everyone else when I let them in. When I opened my arms to them, they met me where I was at.

He helped me see that people care, that Anxiety and Depression were lying to me. That they always were.

He helped me see that I am worth something.

He doesn’t make everything perfect in my life. No one can. 

But he is here and I am forever thankful for that.

I look into his eyes, my thoughts becoming as clear as his blue oceans. Once again, he’s brought me to the surface, away from their dark thoughts.

“I love you, too. Thank you.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you see any mistakes fell free to tell me (I honestly have no idea what I'm doing)  
> Tell me what you thought!


End file.
